Rejection.

Writing a memoir was one thing, but seeking representation has been a whole other ball game. And to be honest, it is downright exhausting. Everyday feels like a giant to do list that never gets done.

TO DO:

Work on your social media platform.

Write blog posts.

Research agents.

Query agents.

Network, network, network.

Stay connected with other writers (because they are your people now).

Be a wife, mom, and friend.

Sometimes I wonder why I do it, but then I reflect on our story and the message I want to share. Most of all, I think of Hunter.

When Hunter reads what happened to him, I want him to hear my voice and to feel my love. I want him to know how he endured, how we relied on our faith, and how his story is not one drenched in tragedy, but victory and joy. He needs to know that there is always hope to find gratitude amidst heartache and trials. That’s what keeps me going and overshadows the doubts that creep in when I receive another rejection. Still, there are moments when I don’t feel good enough or I wonder if someone will believe in me as much as I believe in myself. I try my best to trust the process of becoming a published author, which means receiving rejection after rejection until I find the needle in the haystack: the ONE agent or publishing house who will offer me a book deal.

I did catch the attention of a small publisher but ended up being told that I didn’t have enough engagement and followers on social media. I had high hopes of signing with them, and was really excited for the opportunity. It would have at least given me leverage to use with other publishers, but it didn’t work out. After the disappointment set in, I reached out to two of my writer friends who are making their way into the publishing world and they both said the same thing:

I’m so sorry. I’m sure that hurt.

It did. And I ALMOST cried. But then I stopped myself. I wasn’t willing to shed a tear over that publisher. I also took note that nothing bad was said about my writing or our story. So, instead of crying, I put more fuel on the fire. I pulled up some quotes on rejection and read them over and over.

Here were my favorites…

I am good enough. There is something better. I won’t give up.

I don’t know what’s in store, or what opportunities will be presented, but I will continue to find joy in the journey and keep moving forward.

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