Favorite Part: The opener, which I posted below, and the history of the ADA. (What can I say, I’m a sucker for a good history lesson.)
Favorite Line: “Disability is not a brave struggle or courage in the face of adversity. Disability is an art. It’s an ingenious way to live.”
Takeaway: There is no singular disability experience, opinion, or journey and we can continuously learn from and be an ally to the disabled community.
Focus: Ablelism/disability rights/disability visibility/disability awareness/disability etiquette
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What does the author want you to you know:
“In order to acknowledge that there’s so much diversity under one umbrella, we have to recognize that disability cuts across all identities…. When we look at it in that way, it can initially be challenging to find something that unites us but I don’t mean that in a defeatist way— rather I mean that we should be celebrating the individuality within the community and not looking at it as one monolithic block of people who all want the same things because the reality is we all want different things but what unites us if anything is the common goal of fighting for access, inclusion, justice, and rights.”
Emily Ladau
I received a physical copy and audio recording from the publisher, Ten Speed Press, and I’m so grateful they found me! I was so happy to support Ladau and have the chance to read her book before it was released. It was also pleasure to listen to Ladau narrate her book. There is something special about listening to the author. You can hear the passion in their voice, and they know exactly what to emphasize. I’m so glad Ladau chose to narrate her book.
When you open up Ladau’s book, you are faced with these questions:
“Have you ever tried to talk about disability and found yourself flustered over what words to use? Have you ever shushed your kid for asking “what’s wrong” with a person who was using a wheelchair? Have you ever shared a news story about a disabled person on social media because you felt warm and fuzzy after reading it? Have you ever compared yourself to someone with a disability to make yourself feel better about your own life?”
Ladau goes on to say, “If your response was ‘yes’ to any of these, don’t stress, I’m not here to judge. Consider this book a safe place to learn and find answers to certain questions you might have but aren’t sure how to ask.”
It was the perfect opening and somewhat of a gut check. And it also made me think about why I might have answered yes to any of those questions.
Throughout her book she dives into why she asks those questions and what we can do to become better allies.
By the end of this book, my first thought was, “I want Hunter to read this,” and I handed him the book and told him about what I learned.
He started to read it that night and there was a very sweet moment when he called me to his room and pointed out the picture of Ladau on the front.
I am an ally and advocate and live a close adjacent life to someone with disabilities, but I am not disabled. This leads me to be cautious about the opinions and ideals I offer to Hunter. I try to ask him questions about how he feels before I tell him about my feelings. I want him to learn from people like Ladau, and to form his own opinions. He is getting older and is slowly understanding more about societal views. If he can learn how to help others to know what to say, and support narratives that he agrees with, then we can be ahead of the game and he will gain more confidence as he lives this unique journey as a disabled person.
Even though this book is very much a “HOW TO” type read, it has a memoir feel to it. She uses some textbook like formatting (see below), but it’s not dry and Ladau talks to you like a friend opposed to a teacher. And I think that’s one of my favorite parts about it. I got to know Emily Ladau, learn from her real life experiences, and better understand someone who is lovingly encouraging those around her how to be an ally. And in the end, I knew that these were Ladau’s opinions and she didn’t want to force them on me.
Read this book if you want to learn about the language that surrounds the disability community. It is always changing, which can make it difficult to feel like you can find the right thing to say, but this is the perfect guide.
Read this book if you want to learn about the history of disability rights, which are rarely talked about and celebrated. Which is why I am hoping to advocate for Disability Pride Month in July when the ADA passed in 1990. More info on that HERE.
Read this book if you want to be an ally, and need some gentle encouragement and how to make that happen.
Be sure to follow Emily on Instagram. And even more, check out her list of book reccomendations.
• About Us: Essays from the Disability Series of the New York Times
• All the Weight of Our Dreams: On Living Racialized Autism
• Being Heumann: An Unrepentant Memoir of a Disability Rights Activist
• Black Disabled Art History 101
• Care Work: Dreaming Disability Justice
• The Collected Schizophrenias: Essays
• The Color of My Mind: Mental Health Narratives from People of Color
• Disability Visibility: First-Person Stories from the Twenty-First Century
• Disfigured: On Fairy Tales, Disability, and Making Space
• Don’t Call Me Inspirational: A Disabled Feminist Talks Back
• Haben: The Deafblind Woman Who Conquered Harvard Law
• Hearing Happiness: Deafness Cures in History
• Lost in a Desert World: An Autobiography
• Loud Hands: Autistic People, Speaking
• The Pretty One: On Life, Pop Culture, Disability, and Other Reasons to Fall in Love with Me
• Strangers Assume My Girlfriend Is My Nurse
• Stutterer Interrupted: The Comedian Who Almost Didn’t Happen
• What Can a Body Do?: How We Meet the Built World
• Too Late to Die Young: Nearly True Tales from a Life
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